This post is just for fun. No persons, real or imagined, are represented here. This song is not about you
You probably haven’t thought much about this, but your preferred, “default” character class actually does say a lot about your personality. There’s probably even some real science behind it, even.
Let’s take a look in more depth.
What Your Favorite Class Means About You in Real Life
Artificer
You need to clean your room. All your kitchen dishes have migrated to other parts of the house. Other people would call you a hoarder, but no one can hear over the sound of your ancient, rusting car’s unwholesome exhaust.
Barbarian
You’re actually quite calm, pleasant, and introspective. People like being around you and are endlessly amused by your jokes about acts of violence.
Bard
Once you’ve finished your to-be-read pile, completed a third graduate degree, and registered your fifteenth patent you might finally feel accomplished enough to have the confidence to think about dealing with your never-ending feelings of inadequacy.
Only Gabriel Garcia Marquez writes longer sentences than you.
Bloodhunter
Fantasizing about a vampire romance story written by Brandon Sanderson isn’t a paying full-time job, but you’d be the first person to earn a billion dollars if it were. Your Tumblr overflows with Witcher fanfic that you migrated from an OG LiveJournal. Your profile picture is your Morrigan/Merrill cosplay. You feel that reference.
Cleric
There is a cabinet of your cleaning supplies. It includes a caddy to hold the cleaning supplies you bought to keep your cleaning supplies clean. There is a laminated sheet on the door that you use to inventory everything in this cabinet. The sheet itself is listed on the inventory “as a joke.”
Druid
You’re the messiest one in your polycule.
Fighter
Everyone can count on you. You’d prefer they didn’t. You try to teach them how to handle their own things. Your texts only get returned three days later.
Monk
You run Arch Linux and eat Takis Fuego with chopsticks.
Your workout routine has definitely resulted in trespassing charges.
You love collaborating with other creatives, which is why you wrote python scripts to synchronize their Google Docs with your GitHub repository.
Paladin
You usually get your own way and don’t really care if that’s because everyone else gave up and walked away. You didn’t notice they had.
You know that “percussive maintenance” is not the solution, but you’re unwilling to rule it out as a solution.
People send a lot of “horse girls” memes in your group chats. You don’t get it.
Ranger
“Please just leave me alone.”
Rogue
Someone told you once that “the failure state of comedy is ‘asshole’” and while they weren’t looking you flicked your cigarette ash in their date’s drink as a response.
Sorcerer
You like to walk around saying “how do I work this?” in a bad impression of David Byrne.
Ordering in a restaurant sometimes involves rolling dice.
Your music library contains a distressing number of symphonic chiptune covers.
Warlock
“Main Character Syndrome” hasn’t been listed in the DSM, has it?
People don’t invite you to parties, they have a party once you arrive.
AO3 has your account on a watch-list for your prolific contributions to the “tentacle” content tag.
Wizard
Everyone can count on you and that’s exactly how you prefer it to be. People gave up asking you how to do things long ago. Your texts only get replies three days later.
Have your own version to contribute? Post 'em in the replies!
. But also sometimes can everyone leave me alone?